Quick takeaway

The most helpful way to support a loved one in recovery is by being steady, calm, and reliable: back their treatment, notice their progress, and let them own their recovery rather than policing it. Avoid interrogating them, lecturing, bringing up past harm or covering for them. Burnout comes from carrying their recovery on top of your own life, so set clear boundaries and get support for yourself. I’m Peter J Davies of Addiction Care, and I offer a Family Programme and one-to-one therapy for families in Guildford and Surrey.

Your partner, son, or daughter has stopped drinking, using, or other addictive behaviour, and you want more than anything for it to last. You check their mood when they walk through the door and lie awake running through what might go wrong. Months in, and you’re utterly exhausted. 

I’m Peter J Davies, and I’ve worked as an addiction specialist in Guildford for 21 years, supporting people in recovery and the families around them. I’ll explain what helps, what to avoid saying, and how to protect your own health while you support someone you love.

How does addiction affect the family in recovery?

Recovery changes a whole household, not just the person suffering from the addiction. While someone is in active addiction, families often organise their lives around it: managing money, making excuses, keeping the peace. When the drinking or drug use stops, those roles don’t disappear overnight, and many partners and parents stay on high alert, waiting for the next crisis.

In extreme cases, your own mood, sleep and sense of safety can become tied to how the other person is doing. It grows out of love and worry, but it’s important to be able to offer support without damaging your own wellbeing. Recognising it is the first step towards support you can keep up. 

Ways to support your partner or loved one in recovery

These are the approaches I see make the most difference:

• Ask how they’d like you to help, rather than guessing
• Respect their appointments and meetings without asking what was said
• Notice effort and progress, and tell them
• Keep alcohol or other triggers out of shared spaces, where you’ve agreed to
• Plan time together that has nothing to do with addiction
• Keep your own routines, friendships and interests going

Above all, let your loved one take responsibility for their recovery. You can’t hold it for them, and trying to do so will wear you down. The work they do in therapy for alcohol, drug, or other addictions, asks a lot of them emotionally, and patience at home gives them room to do it.

What not to say or do when someone is in recovery

Most unhelpful comments come from fear. Knowing what to avoid can save you both a lot of pain.

Avoid	Why it hurts	Try instead
“Have you been drinking?” as a daily check	Signals distrust and encourages secrecy	“How are you doing today?”
“Remember what you did last Christmas”	Keeps shame alive, and shame is a common trigger	Raise past harm in a supported family session
“Surely one drink won’t hurt”	Undermines the decision they’ve made	Offer a soft drink without comment
“You’re cured now”	Treats recovery as a finish line and adds pressure	“I can see how hard you’re working”
Checking their phone or bank statements in secret	Damages trust on both sides	Agree openly on any transparency you both need
Covering for missed work or debts	Shields them from consequences that encourage change	Say calmly what you will and won’t do

Lapses can happen, and they don’t mean recovery has failed. The US National Institute on Drug Abuse estimates that 40 to 60% of people treated for substance use experience relapse, a similar rate to other long-term conditions such as asthma and high blood pressure. If it happens, stay calm, avoid blame, and encourage them back to their support.

How to set boundaries without pushing them away

A boundary describes what you will do, so it stays within your control. For example: “If you come home having been drinking, I’ll stay at my sister’s that night.” State it calmly, once, at a settled moment, and follow through.

In my Family Programme I describe this as learning to detach with love. You care deeply about the person while refusing to take their choices on as your responsibility. Following through feels hard at first, particularly if you’ve spent years rescuing someone, but it earns more respect than warnings you don’t carry out.

Signs you’re heading for burnout

Families are often the last to notice burnout in themselves. Watch for:

• Poor sleep, or lying awake worrying about what they’ll do next
• Feeling responsible for their mood or their sobriety
• Giving up friends, hobbies or exercise to stay available
• Snapping, resentment or feeling numb
• Tiredness that rest doesn’t touch

If several of these sound familiar, your own welfare matters as much as theirs. Your GP can help with sleep and low mood, and it’s important that you find support and understanding of your own.

Addiction support for family in Guildford

A specialist counsellor can help you make sense of what’s happened and decide where you go from here. I see families at my consulting rooms in central Guildford with two session pathways:

• The Family Programme: an eight-week course of one-hour weekly sessions covering how addiction affects the family, breaking old patterns, caretaking, boundaries and what to do in the event of a relapse
• One-to-one sessions: confidential therapy for you as a partner, parent or adult child, whether or not your loved one is in treatment

Many families feel guilty for needing help when someone else has the addiction. Looking after yourself is part of supporting them.

Taking the first step

You’ll support someone in recovery best when you’re well enough to keep going. Encourage them, hold clear boundaries, leave their recovery work to them, and make space for support of your own.

If you would like to talk, either for yourself or for a loved one, please call 01483 533808 or get in touch online to book a confidential assessment so we can talk it through.

Frequently asked questions

Should I have therapy if my partner is the one in recovery?

Yes, it often helps. Living alongside addiction affects your own health, and specialist support gives you space to work through resentment, fear and old patterns so you can support your partner without losing yourself.

How long does it take to rebuild trust after addiction?

There’s no fixed timescale. Trust usually returns gradually through consistent behaviour over months, and family sessions can help you both talk about past harm safely.

Is there a therapist in Guildford who helps families of people in recovery?

Yes. At Addiction Care I offer one-to-one sessions and an eight-week Family Programme for partners, parents and relatives, from consulting rooms in central Guildford or online. Call 01483 533808 to arrange an exploratory chat.

Quick Overview

A prescription drug addiction happens subtly, and the prescription itself is not a guarantee of safety. Some of the most dependency forming drugs in the UK are ones that come through official channels – including opioid painkillers, benzodiazepines, and sleeping pills. If you have started to worry that your medication has become a problem, you are not alone, and you have not done anything wrong. An addiction specialist can help you work out where you stand and move forwards. 

It Started With a Prescription

Your legitimate prescription might have been something to manage pain, or help you sleep, or calm your anxiety. Now you rely on it more than you expected, and a nagging worry has crept in about whether that reliance has become something more.

This is a common scenario; in my 21 years as an addiction therapist I have worked with many people who never expected to find themselves here. In this article I’ll explain why prescription drugs can be deceptively risky, how to tell if your use has tipped into a problem, and who to talk to.

Why ‘Legal’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Safe’

There is a common assumption that if a doctor prescribed something, it must be safe to keep taking. That assumption is what makes prescription drug addiction so easy to miss. The medical endorsement that comes with a prescription builds trust, and that trust can mask a growing dependency.

Several widely prescribed medications carry a genuine risk of dependency when taken over time. These include:

• Opioid painkillers such as codeine, tramadol, and morphine
• Benzodiazepines such as diazepam and temazepam, often prescribed for anxiety
• Gabapentinoids such as pregabalin, used for nerve pain
• Sleeping pills such as zopiclone and zolpidem

Research from the University of Bristol, published in the journal Addiction, found that one in 10 patients prescribed opioid painkillers went on to show signs of dependency. These are not recreational substances bought on a street corner. They are handed over at a pharmacy counter, which is exactly why the danger is so easy to overlook.

How Prescription Drug Addiction Creeps Up on You

Prescription drug addiction rarely begins with a decision to misuse anything. More often, it develops slowly. Your body adjusts to the medication, so the original dose stops having the same effect. You may need a little more to manage the pain or to sleep. The health problem that led to the prescription might ease, but the medication stays in your life. 

The thought of stopping starts to feel frightening, not because you are weak, but because your body and mind have adapted to having it there. None of this makes you a failure. It makes you human, responding in a predictable way to a habit forming substance. Understanding that can lift some of the shame, and shame is often the thing that keeps people from asking for help.

How to Tell if Your Medication Has Become a Problem

The most straightforward way to find out whether your prescription use has become a problem is an honest conversation with an addiction specialist. But there are some signs you can reflect on yourself.

You might recognise one or more of these feelings:

• Needing more of the medication to get the same relief
• Feeling anxious or panicked at the thought of running out
• Taking it for reasons beyond what it was prescribed for, such as to cope with stress or low mood
• Hiding how much you take, or how often, from people close to you
• Continuing to take it well past the point the prescription was meant to end

Noticing these things does not automatically mean you have an addiction. What it means is that it would be worth talking to someone who can help you look at it clearly and without judgment.

Stopping Sleeping Pills and Other Prescription Drugs Safely

If you have decided you want to stop, there are medical considerations you need to know first. Coming off certain prescription drugs, particularly benzodiazepines and sleeping pills such as zopiclone and zolpidem, can be medically risky if done suddenly or without support. Stopping abruptly can cause serious withdrawal effects.

For this reason, you should always involve the GP who prescribed your medication before making any changes. They can help you reduce the dose gradually and safely.

I can help you alongside that medical process. Working together, we look at why the reliance took hold in the first place, what the medication was doing for you emotionally as well as physically, and how you build a life that no longer needs it. The taper handles the body, and the therapy manages everything underneath.

Who to Talk to in Guildford

My name is Peter Davies, and I run Addiction Care from the centre of Guildford, Surrey. I offer confidential one-to-one sessions, face to face or online via Zoom, for people worried about prescription drugs and every other kind of addiction.

If you are not sure whether you have a problem, we can start with an assessment and work it out together. There is no pressure and no judgment. I also offer a Family Programme for those affected by someone else’s use.

To make the first step, call 01483 533808 or get in touch through addictioncare.co.uk. Reaching out is a brave initiative, and it is one I would be glad to help you take.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who can help with a prescription drug addiction in Guildford?

At Addiction Care, based in central Guildford, we work with people experiencing dependency, including to prescription drugs. As an addiction specialist with 21 years of experience, I offer confidential one-to-one therapy face to face in Guildford or online through Zoom. If your medication has come from your GP but you are worried about your reliance on it, this is something I can help you with.

How do I know if my prescription medication has become a problem?

Some common signs include needing higher doses for the same effect, feeling anxious about running out, taking the medication for reasons beyond its original purpose, or hiding your use. None of these on its own confirms an addiction. The clearest way to know is to talk it through with an addiction specialist who can assess your situation honestly and help you decide what, if anything, to do next.

Can a therapist in Guildford help me stop taking sleeping pills?

Yes, though safely stopping sleeping pills usually involves two things working together. Your prescribing doctor should oversee any reduction in dose, because stopping suddenly can be harmful. Alongside that, therapy addresses why the reliance developed and helps you move towards sleep without medication. I offer this support in Guildford and online.